Withhold Conversation Boys

Fuck It!

The power of the pussy is over. It’s time for a testicular takeover. Feminism didn’t work. It caused more problems than it solved and life is worse with it than without.

She says: “You’d get more action if you took the bins out more often or did the dishes once in awhile.”

He says: “I took the bins out now blow me!”

She says: “Well, not now. I have to be in the mood.”

Well, baby. It’s now about a mood. You’re always in a mood. You’ve got your moods whenever you need them. Those damn bins were out hours ago and the dishes were done. You shoulda seen that and then fronted-up naked with your mouth open but no! You have another condition you wanna add to them?

She says: “Talk to me a little. Tell me a story.”

She wants something more than bins and dishes.

Fuck!

What’s the deal?

We talked yesterday. We talked the day before that. In fact, we talked every day this week and plenty of times before. I thought this was a bins and dishes issue. Now you’re saying this is a talking one?

Well I took the fuckin’ bins out. I did the dishes, washing, wiping and putting everything away. I’ve talked for weeks. It seems that I’ve completed everything…I’m in credit! I should have credits at hand and choose my choices.

She says: “But if you talk to me nice, you might get something nice.”

What? That’s not how it was when I first met you. You’re tongue was down my throat before I even learned of your last name. We banged on the bonnet of my car in front of ‘Nashies’ nightclub off route 49. Remember that? I didn’t need to take any bins out or do dishes back then. You jumped me, remember? That was your hand on my jeans.

“I need to feel loved.”

Loved? I’ve rented this place so we could be together. Whenever there’s a spider around, I deal with it. Whenever you cry, I hug. I’ve listened to you, offered my opinions knowing you already knew the answer to any question you’ve asked and now you say you need to feel loved?

Fuck this!

I’m withholding conversation until you can learn to play nice!

-A

Don’t Lie to Me!

Lipstick Desktop BackgroundShe leans into the mirror and runs another layer of Allure’s Rouge over her naturally thin, pale lips.

‘Lying is bad. If I ever found you lying to me, I’d leave.’

She doesn’t have lips that are so red or that wide. She drags the greasy stick over the edges and then lines it with a fine pencil of a similar colour.

‘And honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.’

After coating her face with various layers of shades and tones that disguise her natural looks, turning her tiny eyes into oceans, she disrobes, tucks two mounds of silicone into a lacy bra, two butt-cheeks into wonder jeans and then steps into moderate sized heels to lift her body.

‘What do you think about my hair? I just love these new extensions.’

This blonde is normally brown – a mousey mixture of light and middle tones that are neither close enough to make her a speculative red nor a questionable blonde.

‘It looks good. I like you with long hair.’

She smiles and swishes the excess around a few times, turns it into a bun on the top of her head and pins it in place.

‘What about these stringy bits at the front? Aren’t they cute?’

She winds a length of loose hair that falls from her temples around a heating wand and then releases it into a gentle curl.

‘What about leaving it down? I like it like that.’

‘Down is boring. Besides, I have a gorgeous neck and this makes me look sophisticated.’

She slips on a blouse, kisses her lover and says, ‘If you ever lie to me, I’ll leave. Good relationships are built on honesty, don’t you agree?’

‘Sure.’

They embrace. She walks to the door but stops and turns back to him.

‘I’m booked in on the fifth for teeth whitening and a spray tan. Can you tell anyone who calls on that day that I’m at work?’

‘Yes, dear. Honesty is very important.’

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