Involuntary Celibacy: Its acronym has never seen so much use as it does today. Men from all ages are taking to the Internet to voice their frustrations in sex, women, feminism and report on their feelings so we can all see.
It’s nice men are communicating. Social media and Internet sites provide a voice and place where men of all types and ages can speak their thoughts. Men aren’t always known for talking. They prefer action. Unfortunately the chatter they are leaving about the Internet in sites like REDDIT and LOOKISM are all too brief, often peppered in angry overtones. They leave with them a residue of nastiness every time they engage the topic. Their literacy is minimal, assumptions are maximal, sentences reduced to a few speculative words that for them point to the ‘real issues’ but for anyone else they read as code. In many ways, they are doing themselves an injustice by not clearly stating their needs in any of their texts. The word INCEL becomes a tired and well-beaten thing that vapourises into uselessness because it’s overused. Fresh content lacks and ‘the issues’ men want addressed in society are swept under the carpet.
Not all writers commentating on INCEL are like that though. One or two have the ability and skills to string enough words together to create a well-written blog post. One of the first to write about INCEL calls himself M2 (now listed as M3). I discovered his first INCEL post nearly four years ago. That single post was a clear hit! It drew in thousands of ‘likers’ immediately and hundreds of commenters in the months that followed. I believe this was the origin of the term; Involuntary Celibacy. It has grown ever since.
It’s only natural that in this fast-paced life that the two words would become one. Unfortunately, in doing so, the new word excludes uneducated readers, for they first have to know where the word came from before engaging in the content. Not all readers care to repair the hole an author made in their pieces and thus disengage right away.
Another author came forward about a year later and vented his emotions in a post that blew the Internet apart (The original post no longer exists). He recommended that governments around the world should fund a global solution: Paying women to have sex with men. He declared it his right to have sex. If he couldn’t get it on his own, he wanted someone else to do it for him.
Currently, the frustrated younger men taking the ‘net daily are using INCEL as a measurement of un-attractiveness. It’s not unlike females who taunt and bully other females using the words ‘skank’ or ‘slut’. Slut-shaming is a female specialty: Girls who see others who have more sexual attraction by using their good-looks now equals the boys not able to get enough sex with their sexual un-attraction and poor-looks. The insults come thick and fast when a new word is discovered!
In a morbid way, they celebrate their ability to attack others through these forums. It’s pack mentality. Two hundred years ago this aggression would’ve included pitchforks, short lengths of rope and a low hanging branches. Didn’t we use to have a proper word or two for people who didn’t look visually appealing or didn’t fit in?
And what about INCEL? What happens to those struggling with a type of celibacy they truly don’t want to be a part of? Do they first have to participate in an ‘ugly’ discussion simply because a bunch of bullies have hijacked the term and made it their own to use, abuse and misrepresent? There are men who need sex but are suffering because their lives, however they come to be, are sexless ones. They become depressed and angry for it. That’s what I draw from the structured content out there. It’s real and a real growing problem. How it’s overcome is something we should be working on.
INCEL-shaming is only diversionary and wastes time.
-Michael Forman (Author of SEETHINGS)
Michael Forman’s books on Goodreads ratings: 4 (avg rating 4.50)
‘Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.’ – Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’