Undeserving Parents!

I Want A Baby!

“Fuck off!”

“You smell. You make funny noises. This place is an absolute mess all of the time… but you’re hot.”

Toothless Terry will eventually shag Linda. Her home is more a home than his own.

“Do you want to stay over?” She asks the day after they met.

“Sure,” he replies

Babies come from the meeting of two bodies. Bodies come from the meeting of two minds.

And they lived happily-everafter.

Withhold Conversation Boys

Fuck It!

The power of the pussy is over. It’s time for a testicular takeover. Feminism didn’t work. It caused more problems than it solved and life is worse with it than without.

She says: “You’d get more action if you took the bins out more often or did the dishes once in awhile.”

He says: “I took the bins out now blow me!”

She says: “Well, not now. I have to be in the mood.”

Well, baby. It’s now about a mood. You’re always in a mood. You’ve got your moods whenever you need them. Those damn bins were out hours ago and the dishes were done. You shoulda seen that and then fronted-up naked with your mouth open but no! You have another condition you wanna add to them?

She says: “Talk to me a little. Tell me a story.”

She wants something more than bins and dishes.

Fuck!

What’s the deal?

We talked yesterday. We talked the day before that. In fact, we talked every day this week and plenty of times before. I thought this was a bins and dishes issue. Now you’re saying this is a talking one?

Well I took the fuckin’ bins out. I did the dishes, washing, wiping and putting everything away. I’ve talked for weeks. It seems that I’ve completed everything…I’m in credit! I should have credits at hand and choose my choices.

She says: “But if you talk to me nice, you might get something nice.”

What? That’s not how it was when I first met you. You’re tongue was down my throat before I even learned of your last name. We banged on the bonnet of my car in front of ‘Nashies’ nightclub off route 49. Remember that? I didn’t need to take any bins out or do dishes back then. You jumped me, remember? That was your hand on my jeans.

“I need to feel loved.”

Loved? I’ve rented this place so we could be together. Whenever there’s a spider around, I deal with it. Whenever you cry, I hug. I’ve listened to you, offered my opinions knowing you already knew the answer to any question you’ve asked and now you say you need to feel loved?

Fuck this!

I’m withholding conversation until you can learn to play nice!

-A

Two-faced and Manipulative Bitches

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Christ!

This one is a doozy!

These two chicks apply to get jobs at a very successful and sexy lingerie outlet, Honey Birdette. At some point, they leave and turn their story about unfair work practices into an argument about female emancipation, exploitation and sexual harassment. They then set about burning symbols of these three things in the street.

Overworked to the point of having to take a piss in a garbage can ’cause they’re not allowed to close-up-shop to use a proper toilet, they’ve come up with a sexism debate. Nice… but very  WRONG girls! I see the lie.

Your eyes were very much open when you applied for work at Honey Birdette. You weren’t naive at the interview.

Yes, these spiteful women openly admit to knowing what the business was all about before they signed on. No doubt they jumped for joy when they were offered their jobs and again when their first paychecks arrived!

In a forward-thinking approach to lingerie marketing, Honey Birdette employees were told to wear the company’s products and use sexy catchphrases to build the store around an extremely provocative and sexualised brand. I bet these ladies nodded and agreed to all that was being asked of them.

But retailing is tough business. I know, I’ve done it. You’re on your feet all day long and, sometimes, it feels like entrapment – especially when your boss won’t allow you to leave the store to answer the call of nature.

So how does this become sexual harassment?

The sexual harassment they speak of is not not necessarily with the owners of the business (although why not) but with its customers.

Let me tell you this, the general public is an ass! It doesn’t matter what you’re selling in what type of store, there will always be pricks, twats, tools, bitches and smartasses passing through those doors every single day. There’s no stupidity-filter to stop those customers from turning up… because they are customers!

Yes, they buy your time ladies. Salespeople are just simple prostitutes. Customers don’t want your opinions – just say yes when it’s needed, sell them the shit they want, smile and ring that till baby!

If you have an issue with an individual, take it up with the offender when one happens. Stop whining about it and hoping someone with feminist sympathies will fix it for you afterwards.You’re over eighteen. Grow the fuck up!

The other option is to resign. Lock the front door, call the boss and tell him where to pick up the keys. That’d send signals upstream that’d speak more than the muddy words of sexism, emancipation, harassment and any other keyword that looks like it should fit  well to stir up some action.

It’s lingerie ladies. It’s skimpy and sexual. Sexuality encircles this kind of product and sexuality is purely subjective. One person has little response to a pretty girl in revealing clothes whilst another gets serious eye-twitches and comes in their pants.

So someone touched you or said something suggestive? Wake up. Life is like that.

Your argument arsenal is now reduced to the subject we started with: toileting.

My boss always hated hearing a complaint from a customer that the doors to one of his stores was found shut when they arrived.

As much as one tries to keep those doors open, sometimes it can’t be helped. Single-staffed shops have to be managed this way and bosses know that all too well – the good ones understand. If he or she doesn’t, they can take their job and shove it. Burning their products for the cameras only draws attention to a bit of self-centred immaturity.

So get off your high-horses and join us in the reality in which most of us dwell. Your dispute isn’t all that. I bet it’s really about issues of long hours, underpayment, little recognition and job unfulfillment.

That doesn’t make the frustration you’re feeling into SEXISM.

Responsible women know this.

-M

Don’t Lie to Me!

Lipstick Desktop BackgroundShe leans into the mirror and runs another layer of Allure’s Rouge over her naturally thin, pale lips.

‘Lying is bad. If I ever found you lying to me, I’d leave.’

She doesn’t have lips that are so red or that wide. She drags the greasy stick over the edges and then lines it with a fine pencil of a similar colour.

‘And honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.’

After coating her face with various layers of shades and tones that disguise her natural looks, turning her tiny eyes into oceans, she disrobes, tucks two mounds of silicone into a lacy bra, two butt-cheeks into wonder jeans and then steps into moderate sized heels to lift her body.

‘What do you think about my hair? I just love these new extensions.’

This blonde is normally brown – a mousey mixture of light and middle tones that are neither close enough to make her a speculative red nor a questionable blonde.

‘It looks good. I like you with long hair.’

She smiles and swishes the excess around a few times, turns it into a bun on the top of her head and pins it in place.

‘What about these stringy bits at the front? Aren’t they cute?’

She winds a length of loose hair that falls from her temples around a heating wand and then releases it into a gentle curl.

‘What about leaving it down? I like it like that.’

‘Down is boring. Besides, I have a gorgeous neck and this makes me look sophisticated.’

She slips on a blouse, kisses her lover and says, ‘If you ever lie to me, I’ll leave. Good relationships are built on honesty, don’t you agree?’

‘Sure.’

They embrace. She walks to the door but stops and turns back to him.

‘I’m booked in on the fifth for teeth whitening and a spray tan. Can you tell anyone who calls on that day that I’m at work?’

‘Yes, dear. Honesty is very important.’

Author

Equality, equality, equality… and sex.

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Yes, that’s right, drunk Josie can’t consent to sex but drunk Jake can.

Let’s raise a glass to King Jake!

I like equality. It’s soooo damn equal. The equilibrium has been equalizing equality so well that inequality doesn’t exist anymore. Josie has a special placard to help her enter the equal-zone!

What a bunch of bullshit!

Together, feminism and masculism are protecting men and women from their amorous opposites who are plotting to get a piece of action-on-the-easy, right.

Masculism?

Oh that’s right! That one doesn’t exist! Males don’t need protection from females. They don’t need to have an opinion on the matter either. It’s assumed they’ll be fine because equality… well, exists only for females.

Fair enough.

Feminism, on the other hand, does stupid things – like posts literature like this to remind men and women with a ridiculous warning that tries to educate but disempowers females and re-empowers males. It dumb-downs the female in its narrative and then puts Jake in the driver’s seat.

Jake is in charge. Josie is nothing.

Unless Jake’s tying her up and forcing alcohol down her throat, one would assume that Josie’s head has a brain. That’s her hand, her glass, her smile, and her decision to drink what’s inside it. Feminism does its best to help but it inadvertently removes some responsibility from the female by posting this crap. Women no know that if they have morning-after guilt, they’ll then have a Union who’ll turn something relatively small into something big – that can ruin a man.

That’s too bad… for the man.

Men deal with life-errors and move on. They don’t have a union to call upon if they feel the choices they made the night before were bad. They live with their decisions like good, responsible, sexually active adults. No union required.

All is equal – only to those who see it.

And then there’s another logical approach:

Alcoholics Anonymous teaches its people about the affects of alcohol. Spouses and children of alcoholics are told through their equivalent sessions that any individual influenced by alcohol is no longer that individual when drunk. It doesn’t become sexist and suggest that women are better drunks than men or vice versa. It calls it how it sees it. Everyone is someone else during an alcoholic episode. That’s what gets spouses and children through the pain of living with an alcoholic family member.

Back to Jake and Josie.

If Josie puts her body in alcohol’s hands, then alcohol is left in charge of it. If Jake has sex with a drunk Josie, then he’s not having sex with Josie at all. He’s banging a margherita… because the margarita says yes. Margaritas can’t claim rape! Margaritas can’t file suits. Women who leave alcohol in charge of their bodies need to review their relationship with it.

What we all need to do is work on reducing morning-after guilt.

Sex isn’t bad. There’s no need for guilt or shame to be applied to it. A guy who pisses off afterwards is a cad, not a rapist. At the time, it was right thing to do and everyone has to live with that fact. That’s what being an adult is all about. You can’t change your mind later if you didn’t like the outcome.

Women tend to have it worse because being a slut implies negative connotations – and that burden needs to be removed by both feminism and masculism. Frankly, any woman who puts a smile on her and her lover’s face should be seen as a hero not a villain.

Men, and especially women, have got to stop slagging off at promiscuous females. How can something so joyful be turned into something evil?!

Selfishness or jealousy can turning anything evil. Now you have to ask the reason why you want it called evil. Is it more about you than the promiscuity of someone else?

Some of us don’t like all the happiness to go elsewhere…

…because it reminds us of our sadness. – Mx

My wife hates me.

She refused my seed.

We had a great relationship. We were friends. We planned to have children. We did everything right. We abided by the rules.

The rules in a Catholic life were abstinence.

Abstinence was nice but it was also a cruel thing.

My wife wanted children. I wanted sex.

Without going into details, one of us wanted abstinence to stay and the other wanted a wife.

Footballer called to be sacked after lewd act.

Catherine Lumby has called for professional footballer Mitchell Pearce to be removed from the game after he performed a lewd act in front of a group of women.

mitchell-pearce-dogVideo proof surfaced in January this year that later went viral.

What was it all over? Pearce was drunk at a party and dry humped a dog.

Before you go nuts over that last line and believe Lumby’s justified with her request, he was clothed (at least his privates were covered at all times) and the dog was unharmed. The women who filmed the ‘act’ took their phone footage and then sold it to the highest bidder. Now the woman’s advisor to the Rugby League is calling for his head to roll over it. Nice eh?

Catherine Lumby needs to sit back down and calm down.

Who hasn’t done or said stupid things at parties? I’ve seen women spontaneously dry hump men who didn’t ask for it to be done to them. I’ve seen women fall over, expose themselves and then spew venom at men for the embarrassment they caused themselves. Like this news story, their behaviour was completely outrageous, nothing like what a man would do to a woman in public, definitely not anything like what Mitchell Pearce did on camera in the privacy of a hotel home. But here he is being asked, nigh, told to give up his career for what he did on camera.

There are three big differences in his situation:

  1. He is not female.
  2. He is popular.
  3. He was filmed.

These so-called ‘offended’ women who saw the performance didn’t leave the room. at all. They could’ve gone at anytime. No one tied them down and made them stare. If they didn’t like what they saw they could’ve done any amount of things to stop the offending act from being watched. Instead, they chose to stay and provide him with an audience. They laughed. They filmed it and thought about the many media outlets they could approach with their exclusive story after he passed out.

Party videos have no place in the sober world. None of them make sense after the booze has gone. I say let the guy go. He deserves no more than a little shaming from the coach and the threat of being dropped from the team if he were to do it again. The club doesn’t need fools representing them.

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Pearce in sober times

I tell you who needs punishing though: Those bitches who stood around and looked on, laughing at and with him. Perhaps they weren’t even invited to the party but weaseled their way into it so they could be closer to someone famous and say they partied with him. They need to be named and shamed for filming a private showing and then distributing it. I think it’s fair if they’re going to hang his career on it. They need to be taught how to use their phones properly. The need educating on how to be proper and decent human beings. They need to know that a private function isn’t meant to be a public one simply because they took their phones along. Auctioning off a video isn’t the right way to go solving a problem if indeed there was a problem at all… unless that problem was a financial one, which is an entirely another problem altogether.

The media outlet who bought it needs a lesson or two on decency too. It’s not like they don’t have private parties of their own. Christmas time is renowned for making a few photocopiers smudgy and bringing out what would ordinarily be inappropriate jokes in mixed company. I bet there’s a few skeletons in those closets that prefer to remain hidden. The newsroom should’ve turned them away.

This is a clear case of a misandrist, feminist society hell bent on bringing males to their knees at any opportunity.

Give me a break. I’ve seen acts worse than that at my local karaoke bar.

-A

-Michael Forman (Author of an emasculating story SEETHINGS) Subscribe to blog.

The Novel ¦The Author ¦ Orde
SEETHINGS novel by Michael Forman

It’s a woman’s world finally. Hallelujah!

gossipmongersDispense with your masculinity boys. The female way is the right way!

‘The nurturers’ have all the answers. It’s the best way. It’s the only way. Females are the calmer ones. They’re caring. They concern themselves about humanity, the world, animals and righting the wrongs of the past. They’re healers. Females will balance us and bring us everlasting peace. Women rule because ‘the nurturers’ know all and mothers know best.

It’s true. Men are redundant. Men don’t need to be men anymore. It’s a woman’s world now. Men need to be more like women. They need to dispense with their brutal, narcissistic past ways and make the move towards compassion. The changes are already there. The gap between the male and female identities is closing. Even female’s anxieties are being adopted by the males. That’s proof it’s working perfectly!

Sure, females have anxieties. Let us not forget the black web of insecurities that clog their minds. They have quite a few of them. They are either:

Too fat or too thin

Too old or too young

Hair too long or not long enough

Too curly or too straight

Big titted or too tiny titted

Too big-butted or no butt at all

Too prudish or too trashy

Too slutty or not too cold

Too stupid or too intelligent

Too trendy or too cheap

Too outspoken or too quiet

Too independent or too needy

Too feminist or a too old-school

Once men learn how to manage these, everything should be fine.

Hang the f*ck on!

They want men to be insecure like this? What the f*ck for? Is this really the best way to be… the world we want for children?

Male life isn’t that complicated… or it shouldn’t be.

man-okA boy gets out of his bed in the morning and his anxieties turn to the things that really matter, like emptying his bladder. It then moves to filling his stomach. It may seem a selfish way of approaching life, too simple to be fair or intelligent but it works. It’s far better than looking in the mirror and wondering what other people may or may not think of his bad hair, bad skin, fatness… all f*cking day long!

Yep, that’s male life.

I get that women are insecure. It seems to come with the territory. They have a need to be wanted and heard. The funny thing is all humans are like that, even the male ones! It’s just the way the women are going about fixing it is devouring the male identity entirely. Women want men to understand them better because THEY want to understand themselves better. So men are caught up, taught to learn women’s anxieties, mimic them, act and behave a way a women would to show they are empathetic enough to be worthy. That’s the woman’s world today and that’s how men need to act in order to get the women they like into the sack.

The sack?

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Yes, it’s another of those simple male things. We take a piss, feed our tum-tums and mate. Call us animals if you like. Cheapen our existence by tossing civilised words at us if you will. Tell us how good and right it is to be on your side of the fence but we don’t care. Your side is not so hot anyway. At least we’re not measuring our lives against everyone else; what we think someone may or may not saying about us when we’re not looking. At least we’re not tossing out a perfectly good handbag and sacrificing the hide of another healthy animal so we’ve got something to wear with our new shoes.

You are nurturers and you are right.

About that… when you come to lactate, you’ll get the perfect chance to prove how much of a nurturer you really are. In the meantime, stop practising breast feeding techniques on humanity vicariously through other devices. Men don’t need to become pseudo-babies for you, neither do other women. When the time comes, that’ll be YOUR time to shine. Until that happens, you’re here with the rest of us. Get on with it or just get lost. Don’t nurture what doesn’t need nurturing.

Feminism was made for the purposes of equality and you are getting that. The workplace, the voting system and all manner of things females didn’t have before it are now in place because of feminism. Feminism wasn’t put there to make you SPECIAL. You AREN’T special because you’re female. You don’t get SPECIAL treatment for being female. You are EQUAL, remember? You get EQUAL treatment. That’s what YOU wanted. Now play nice and stop thinking you’re above it. EQUAL is what it is. If you’re inclined to dumb-down men when you talk about them with the girls, then you dumb-down women at the same time. That’s how equality works. Get it yet?

If you want protection in the dating arena then use YOUR intelligence to do it, not feminism. Don’t expect it to do the job YOU’RE supposed to be doing. Don’t call on feminism because you, well, you just fear men. Own your fears. That’s how men do it. Get over them! Find another word for what ails you. Feminism isn’t your rescuer. Feminism isn’t there sort out your insecurities. It’s there for equality, not naivety or worse, plain arrogance.

If you don’t like the way men go about doing things then don’t socialize with them. Take yourself out of the game. Go away and wear a big button on your front that says ‘Men: Avoid At All Costs’. That’s how a responsible person would do it. An irresponsible one would call upon feminism’s gang to make a fight out of it.

So much for nurturing, eh?

And FF’s sake: STOP DEMANDING MEN to become like you. It’s evil. It’s a false equality anyway. Men can’t become women. All that does is confuse and bring men down to a level they don’t need or are capable of coping with. Why give men that burden anyway? Are they really that bad that you’d want to hurt them this way?

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If you truly want to try on some equality on then try the alternative: Wake in the morning, take a piss, eat something nice and then mate your brains out. Don’t stop by a mirror to see if you’re pretty enough. Don’t consider what everyone else is thinking. Don’t spend a single second trying to organise other people’s lives from the confines of your mind. Just piss, eat and f*ck. I guarantee you life will make sense almost immediately… and you won’t be telling any male how they ought to act afterwards. You’ll see it’s a nicer way to see the world.

Turning into a male empathizer isn’t a crime.  Everyone should try it once!

-A

(Inspired by the novel SEETHINGS)

The Novel ¦The Author ¦ Order 

Michael Forman’s books on Goodreads ratings: 4 (avg rating 4.50)

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